My Labor Pushing Motivator

I was so hungry and thirsty during the final hours of labor that, especially while I was pushing, I have to be honest… I wasn’t thinking about how great it was going to be to finally meet my daughter. I wasn’t focussing on her little head emerging into the world… I wasn’t propelled by the idea of becoming a mother….

I spent the pushing phase of the labor mostly fixated on the can of Sunkist that was sitting on the other side of the room, waiting for me to drink it. I’d sent my husband to the vending machine to get me a cold orange soda. I don’t even know why it was that, specifically. I’m normally a coca-cola kind of girl. But, I was sick of ice cubes already, and I couldn’t WAIT to get my hands on a cold sody pop.

My OB’s all “Bear down. BEAR DOWN! You’re doing great!!! Way to GO!!!”

and I’m all

“mmmm…. orange soda… can’t wait….” push, push, push “hey, lady, could you duck your head down a bit more? You’re ruining my view of the Sunkist that’s on the table behind you.”

my husband’s all “You’re doing great honey” and at one point “Way to go, Babe” (to which I shot him the look of “if I wasn’t strapped to these tubes right now, I’d get up and whomp you over the head with my flip-flop for calling me that”)

and I’m all

“SSSSSsuuuuunkissstt.” push, push, push “SSSSSsuuuuunkissstt.”

Anyway, after Lulu did come out, I completely forgot about the soda.
Never drank it. I found it, warm and forgotten, months later as I unpacked the last of the box-o-stuff the hospital sends you home with.

Sleep Training & Teething

It’s been a few days since I declared the “sleep training” to be complete. I guess I should have been more clear about that… Um… yeah. So, phase one of sleep training is complete.

In my mind, this means that I know that, in normal circumstances, my 6 month old daughter knows how to get herself to sleep for naps and bedtime, and, if she wakes in the middle of the night, she can get herself back down fairly quickly.

Now we’ve moved on to “Sleep Training 301,” the upper-classmen level course.

No sooner did I hit “publish” on my “sleep training is complete” post when Lulu started up with teething pains again and, this time, with a vengeance. It’s been a REALLY tough week because we’ve had to do this delicate dance of responding to Lulu when she’s uncomfortable / in pain from the teething to trying to hold the line on the sleep training and keep a healthy sleep schedule going.

On Monday, Lulu cut her first tooth. She was fussy, fussy, fussy all day. Plus she was really overdue for a poop. Tuesday was also a pretty fussy day, but the night was perfectly smooth. Then Wednesday she was all smiles, flirty, sunny, perfectly content, but then awoke at 3 AM screaming and generally inconsolable. I backed off of the sleep training after an hour of her fussing, almost getting to sleep, then re-waking herself, round and round. At 4 AM, I fed her and she settled enough to be able to put herself back to sleep about 20 minutes later. Rough night. Today, she was incredibly uncomfortable and generally not-to-be-pleased all day, but went to sleep like a dream at bedtime. Just before bed, lo and behold, there was tooth number two!

I wish I had some magic eight ball to answer my questions at all times about sleep training, much less every other aspect of parenting. In most respects, I feel like the Sleepeasy Solution book has been that magic eight ball where sleep is concerned, and will continue to be as Lulu grows into other sleeping issues (separation anxiety, eg). However,  it obviously can’t cover the minute-to-minute desperation of a parent wanting to console their child, but not knowing if it’s resistance crying or discomfort.

I think if, by reacting to her during teething pain, we somehow backtrack in the sleep training… that’s okay. We can always start back at the beginning of the book and move forward again. Besides, parenting isn’t a science, it’s an art, and I’m just trying to do the best I can at each turn in the road with the information I have at the time.

Breastfeeding & Pushy Nurses

When Lulu was born we stayed in the hospital for 2 days, which is the norm for vag births. During this time, I was so whacked out, feeling completely misplaced and awry from the shock and wonder of having just given birth, the excitement of having this amazing new baby and the surrealness of the pace of hospital life with an ever-changing nurse staff, people popping in to check up on me at all times, needing to ring the bell to get help to go to the bathroom, etc, etc.

This is what I have to say about nurses and breastfeeding – they’re opinions and attitudes vary tremendously.

Most nurses are wonderful, patient and gentle. Unfortunately, not all are, NOR are they all informed about actual breastfeeding and they certainly are not professionally trained lactation consultants. They see a lot of babies learn to breastfeed and, after a while, some may come to believe that ALL babies will learn how to do it by X methodology and try to push their approach on you and your newborn. Not all babies are the same, nor are their mothers, and breastfeeding is an intimate relationship that is unique to each pairing. The basics of breastfeeding are constant (angle of baby’s head to nipple, etc), but the techniques of helping the baby get there can vary widely.

Lulu did not take to breastfeeding that easily. Or maybe it was more me, that I didn’t get the hang of it. Nevertheless, the first few MONTHS of her life were a tremendous struggle to get into the swing of things and, certainly, the first few days were the worst of the worst.

I honestly think that the greatest portion of our ongoing difficulties were due to the pressure and attitude of a few of the nurses we had. There were two nurses, in particular, who’s attitudes / approaches to breastfeeding were to take Lulu’s head and literally shove it onto my breast. There was nothing natural about how this felt and she struggled and got upset and the mother instinct in me knew something was wrong with this approach, but the nurses insisted that if I was just more adament she’d suddenly “get” it.

There was SO MUCH PRESSURE in those early hours and days, I was DESPERATE for my daughter to eat (which she does now, like a champ!), to thrive.

Looking back on it, if I could do it over… I would like to kick those two nurses out and tell them to get their hands the FUdge off my baby.

Lulu’s latch didn’t come that easily and, it wasn’t until several days later that I finally got hooked up with a lactation consultant (LC) whose approach was much more holistic and easy going… sort of a “follow the baby’s lead” approach, when things started to fall together. I ended up using a nipple shield during the first 6 weeks, at least, and that made things so much easier (my nipples weren’t large enough to stimulate the suck reflex in Lulu, it seemed). What was most valuable about this LC, more than even her approach, was her easy-going, positive, “there are no mistakes and no big deals” attitude. It helped me to relax.

So, my advice, experience, what have you, is to remember when you’re in the hospital that this is YOUR baby and if you don’t like someone’s attitude, tell them to get the F-U-dge out of your room. And, sure, I’m giving you license to swear. What are they going to do, kick you out?***

The other big thing to know is that you do NOT have to get breastfeeding down in the first 24 hours, much less 48. You can use a pump to help stimulate your milk production – I did and my production is insanely great, even at 6 months! There’s no need to rush into things like it’s a big emergency. Your baby WILL get food. You can even hand-express the colostrum and give it to her on your pinky if you have to.

So, RELAX. Keep as many people out of your hospital room as possible (my last day there was fraught with volunteers and staff coming in, some selling “baby’s first photo,” some offering prayers from my local church, etc.), and just enjoy looking at and holding your new baby. If the breastfeeding is meant to work out, it will. It’s hard work, not easy stuff, but not an emergency.

***Actually, you might want to exhibit a modicum of decorum when kicking the nurse out – the nurses work very hard and, at the end of the day, the quality of the care you receive depends largely on them. Just, if you get a pushy one, tell them you want to try the feeding on your own and, thanks for their time (and don’t let the door hit them in the a** on the way out!).

Houston, We Have a Poop

I finally geared myself up to, um… you know… use the thermometer to help the pooping action and, lo and behold, just as I lay Lulu on the diaper table and undid her diaper, things started moving… Maybe it was merely the threat of the thermometer that got her innards jumping, or perhaps she was able to relax for the first time in a few days after getting some relief from tooth pain or something…

Thirty minutes later, 3 diapers and 2 pounds lighter, Lulu was tremendously relieved. I put her down for her first nap of the day and for the first time in 24 hours, she immediately settled to sleep, happily content.

In and Out – Teeth & Poops

Today is day 5 of no poop action for Lulu. This is apparently very normal in breastfed babies, but she seemed to be straining to try to poop and mostly getting frustrated. In addition, she also has teething pain, so this all adds up to making a tres unhappy baby!

I called the doctor’s office as soon as it opened today and spoke to a nurse. I, the paranoid, first time mother, explained that there were a number of issues at hand:

1. Just finished “sleep training” and therefore had ceased feeding rice cereal for the duration
2. Lulu had a new tooth bud (her first!!!) and seemed to be having tooth pain
3. Lulu had also not pooped well (besides a tiny pooplet on Sat and Mon) in 5 days
4. Tylenol didn’t seem to be helping the tooth pain
5. I didn’t know if Lulu was fussy because of her teeth, needing to poop, or possibly being hungry because of wanting cereal
6. I was afraid to start her on the cereal again until she had a regular poop because I feared it might contribute to her constipation 

The nurse suggested the following:

1. Teething:
   1. Try motrin instead of tylenol (I guess she’s old enough now)
      1. It’s okay if the last tylenol dose overlaps w/ the motrin because they’re different drugs
   2. Keep offering a cold toy for her to chew on
2. Pooping:
   1. Don’t go back to rice cereal until things normalize (phew! I’m glad I asked this question!) because it could contribute to the constipation
   2. Do give her some fruit or vegetable food to help with the “movement”
      1. Prune juice would be okay, as would peas or applesauce
   3. Do offer her 2-3 ounces of water throughout the day via bottle to help move things
   4. Do use a rectal thermometer or q-tip to help stimulate things

Regarding that last thing… Ummmm…. Okay… I love my daughter and am not intimidated by that sort of thing, but I immediately got this image in my head of Cybil’s mom (the one w/ 16 personalities) who was always giving her enemas… seemed like a severe option… I did ask the nurse though, where I could get a rectal thermometer and she told me any digital one would do… AND to be sure to use some sort of lubricant. Duh.  

Teething and Sleep

Wow! When it rains, it pours, I guess.

Yesterday morning, I noticed that Lulu has a tooth bud poking through her gum. It is razor sharp and we’ll see how that plays out for breastfeeding. I already got nipped a bit, but it was dealable. In addition to the tooth stuff… Lulu seems to have hit that magic window where she doesn’t poop much (common with breastfed babies). She hasn’t dropped one off in5 days (since last Thursday), at least not anything substantial… two tiny pooplets, but those can’t possibly count to relieve the sense of being backed up.

Everything I’ve read about teething says that the majority of the pain is before the tooth breaks through the skin, but Lulu seemed especially fussy yesterday. We just finished sleep training with Lulu and she WAS doing great… Now, I can’t really tell when she cries to go to sleep if she’s in pain, discomfort, or just resisting sleeping.

Lulu slept great for her first nap yesterday, but during the second one she never settled down. I had given her Tylenol, just in case there was tooth pain, and it didn’t seem to help. When I took her out of the crib at the end of her nap hour, she was totally content, which also makes me think she wasn’t having pain… then.

Last night, Lulu was definitely uncomfortable, up and down every two hours. We abandoned all sleep training expectations and focused on making her comfortable. I rocked with her for some time, fed her often (she seemed soothed by breastfeeding) and at one point, before my husband got into bed, let her sleep in the bed next to me while I read the New Yorker.

I know we did the right thing last night – she was clearly uncomfortable. It was saddening to not be able to take away her discomfort, but just try to be consoling.

Here are the measures we took to help Lulu sleep and not be in pain:

• Tylenol every 4 hours
• holding, rocking
• when she was up, we kept the lights dimmed and the attitude very mellow
• offered washcloth that had been in freezer (no interest)
• total free-range access to the boob (this seemed the most effective thing)

By 2:30 AM, Lulu settled into actual, unfettered sleep. The process of helping her get sleep while teething seems to be more of an art than a science – just being grateful if she’d catch a cat nap of 30 minutes here and there so she could have some peace, and focussing on the fact that this would pass.

Sleep Training Conclusion

Last night, the second evening without her 2nd night feeding, Lulu did great! She slept right through until 6:30 AM. With that success, I’m officially calling the sleep training to be complete.

I’m continuing to hold onto my copy of the Sleepeasy Solution with a tight grip – the book really is fantastic. It has several chapters that outline different sleep challenges that each developmental age can encounter. For instance, I’m sure that the sleep schedule can get thrown off kilter with travel or teething pain, and I’ll definitely want to have a copy nearby for reference.

I feel that the sleep training experience has been so succesful. I can now easily put Lulu in her crib even when she’s awake and she rarely even cries for a few minutes. She easily puts herself to sleep, which, until 10 days ago, was impossible. In addition, when she wakes in the middle of the night, she does do some crying, but quickly settles herself back to sleep which ALSO was impossiblhe before we started the training.

I am incredibly grateful that my family has gone through this process. I don’t know that this method will be appropriate for our next child / children, but I am certain it has been the best for Lulu and that her life will only be better now that she knows how to get herself to sleep. This past week and a half will pay dividends in the years to come.

Now, pardon me while I skip over to Amazon and bulk order copies for all of my pregnant friends! 

Sleep Training, Day Nine, Nighttime

Important note: though this is the ninth day of our sleep training attempts, it is really only the seventh day of following the Sleepeasy Solution. This completes a whole week of sleep training following the Sleepeasy program. Because she just finished her night weaning last night, I ‘m going to see how tonight goes. If all goes well, I will consider the sleep training complete. Otherwise I’ll continue to chronicle for another day or two.

7:36 PM  – in crib
7:36 PM – asleep
11:00 PM – woken up BY ME for dream feed
6:25 AM – awake next morning
Total Check-ins: 0
Total Time Getting to Sleep: 0 minutes
Total Nightime Sleep: 10 hours, 51 minutes

Notes :
Fell asleep while I was feeding her. Slept straight through when she’s used to getting up for her second night feeding!

Sleep Training, Day Nine, Second Nap

Important note: though this is the ninth day of our sleep training attempts, it is really only the seventh day of following the Sleepeasy Solution. This completes a whole week of sleep training following the Sleepeasy program. Because she just finished her night weaning last night, I will continue to chronicle for another day or two, then call the training phase complete.

2:36 PM – in crib
2:55 PM – asleep
4:15 PM– awake
Total Check-ins: 0
Total Time Getting to Sleep: 9 minutes
Total Sleep: 1 hour, 20 minutes

Total Naptime Sleep: 3 hours, 20 minutes

Notes:
She’s very tired today. It just really wasn’t possible to feed her AND keep her awake before laying her in her crib. I feel very confident in her abilities to put herself to sleep these days. The difficulty is not getting her to sleep initially, but that her greatest sleeping challenge right now is when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Hence, I didn’t have an issue with putting her in the crib mostly asleep.

Sleep Training, Day Nine, First Nap

Important note: though this is the ninth day of our sleep training attempts, it is really only the seventh day of following the Sleepeasy Solution. This completes a whole week of sleep training following the Sleepeasy program. Because she just finished her night weaning last night, I will continue to chronicle for another day or two, then call the training phase complete.

10:10 AM – in crib
10:18 AM – asleep
12:18 PM – awake
Total Check-ins: 0
Total Time Getting to Sleep: 8 minutes
Total Sleep: 2 hours

Notes:
I went to a class this morning, so Lulu’s dad put her to sleep for her nap and fed her from our frozen breast milk supply. She also helped Daddy cook after her nap by watching him and encouraging him with lots of raspberries!