You Think You’re Having a Bad Day

One of my favorite quotes is from a poem of Stephen Dunne’s, “Sixty,” which is about turning sixty, that states:

As Garcia Lorca may have written: some people

forget to live as if a great arsenic lobster

could fall on their heads at any moment.

In the spirit of that thought, here’s an interesting news item… (from SFGate’s day in pictures)

A ride he’ll never forget: Ben Carpenter, a 21-year-old Kalamazoo, Mich., man, survived a harrowing four-mile ride at 50 mph when his motorized wheelchair became stuck in the grille of this semi. He had been crossing a street in Paw Paw when the light changed, and the rig snagged the chair’s handlebars, unbeknownst to the trucker. Motorists called 911, and a pair of undercover cops pulled over the driver. Carpenter was not hurt.

 

 

As If Raising Girls Wasn’t Hard Enough…

There are people out there creating this whole industry that teaches little girls A) their looks are paramount and B) their natural beauty isn’t enough… it’s got to be “enhanced” to the point of absurdity wherein the child more closely resembles a soul-less doll than a joy-abounding little kinder.

Does someone have a tongue scraper? I need to clean the awful taste out of my mouth after seeing this site.

This actually turned my stomach.

http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch.html

I love the description on this one… “tears removed”:

http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch4a.html

Scary:
http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html

This is the person’s photography website. Note that most of the photos relate to “Hawaiian Tropic” pageants. I will never buy a product of theirs:

http://supremepageantphotos.homestead.com/index.html

An Axiom on Sleep and Babies

The more they sleep, the more they sleep.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that if you keep your baby up more during the day that she will sleep better or longer at night. The opposite is true… Let your baby have nice, long, full naps during the day. The more she conks out during the daytime, the more easily she’ll settle down at night and drift into longer periods of sleep.

Remember – your baby is doing a LOT more than you while she sleeps! She’s not just restoring her energy for the next day, or healing up… She’s actually growing and developing! Even sleep is exhausting work for babies!

Teething and Sleep Training, Redux

Just after we completed a week of sleep training via the Sleepeasy Solution, Lulu started cutting her first tooth… As soon as that tooth came in, she had a day of calm and then a second tooth began coming in. Lulu got her first two teeth within 5 days. Amazing.

We completely abandoned sleep expectations during this time because Lulu was simply too fussy and uncomfortable. During this very difficult week, we tried giving her Tylenol (alledgedly the miracle cure during teething) and Camilia, a homeopathic treatment that’s supposed to curb the immediate discomfort. To be honest, I’m not sure the Camilia ever really worked. Lulu never had a momentary pause after taking it where she seemed to ease a little. The Tylenol did seem to help, but not nearly as much as I would have liked… It’s NOT an IMMEDIATE soother – it takes at least 30 minutes to set in. At the end of the week, we got the go-ahead from our doctor to try Motrin and that did seem to help much more quickly than the Tylenol. Then again, perhaps the worst of Lulu’s pain was already over. Also, I tried to put orajel on her gums once, but she fussed so much, it ended up all over her lips and tongue. I put it on my tongue to see what would happen and hours later, it was still kind of numb. It just wasn’t feasible to apply it to the correct area with Lulu, so I stopped considering it as an option.

As the week was passing, I was pretty stressed out about backtracking in the progress we’d made with sleep training. Looking back now, on the other side of round one with teething, I know I did the right thing to take Lulu out of the crib and comfort her as often as necessary. I’m sure there were times she was crying just out of habit, but for the most part, I believe she was upset when she was in pain.

Now that the storm has passed, Lulu is back to going to sleep readily according to the training. She goes down great for naps and bedtime. The only regression we’ve experienced is that she is waking in the middle of the night and we are back on a “get up, feed her and settle her back down” routine. We are presently on vacation, and Lulu even went to sleep great on her own in a new strange crib and environment! As soon as we return, we will re-start weaning off of night feeds and I have every confidence that we will succeed.

What Worked For Sleeping While Teething?

Every night, 30 minutes before bed, we gave Lulu Tylenol. If the woke up in the middle of the night, the first thing we did was offer her some Camilia. If she persisted in crying, we’d take her out of the crib, hold and rock her or feed her… whatever was necessary to calm her down. After some hugs and closeness, she settled back to sleep.

Several nights we gave her Tylenol every 4 hours. I think Motrin would have actually worked better and during the next round, this is what we’ll use.

During the worst of the teething pain Lulu seemed to get great comfort from suckling on my breast without eating, and I had her with me in bed many times in that one night.

Sleeping:

After the teething finally passed, Lulu was really overtired. She had gotten the requisite 13-15 hours of sleep each 24 hours, but in shorter patches than usual, and this up-and-down wore on her spirit. After the peak of the teething pain had passed, she was still restless and edgy from lack of quality sleep, which led her sleeping pattern to continue to be fragmented. We needed to get ahead of the curve, so for several days, I added a fourth nap to her schedule (after the teething had passed) by taking her on a long car ride each day. This seemed to help her catch up and get back into a pleasant mood and rhythm.

Sleepeasy Solution, Summary

This blog got an outstanding leap in traffic today and, judging by most of the referrals, it looks like people are seeking information on the Sleepeasy Solution. Here’s the summary of my experience:

The Sleepeasy Solution book was a total godsend to my family. In the course of roughly 7 days of sleep training using this method, my 6 month old went from having an increasingly difficult time settling to sleep at any point between 7 and 9:30 pm, to going to sleep like clockwork at 7:30 on the dot. I now set her in her crib perfectly awake at 7:25 pm, she instantly turns on her side and begins sucking her thumb and within moments is asleep. If there is any crying at all, it lasts less than 3 minutes.

In addition, my daughter was waking up in the middle of the night between 1 and 3 times. On occasion, she would not go back to sleep. While we did the sleep training, the night wakings decreased to the point where perhaps once a night she would wake, but then settle herself back to sleep within a few minutes.

My daughter has also learned to stay asleep or quietly settled in her crib for 12 hours. She consistently wakes at 7:21 AM and is ready to get up, happy and cheerful.

Finally, Lulu eases into her naps excellently and, when I lay her down in her crib, I am confident that she will always go to sleep and actually get a NAP, rather than fuss!

Would I Do the Sleepeasy Solution Again?

Absolutely. In fact, I’m going to have to do another round of training with Lulu because of having gotten off track during a teething bout. If we have more children, I will definitely consider this method, and will most likely use it. I do believe that every child is unique and, therefore, it’s possible this method may not suit our next child. In general, though, I think this is a very straightforward, simple way to help a child learn how to put herself to sleep and I think it is suitable for the majority of babies. Odds are 98 to 2 that we’ll use this method again with our future children. We are thrilled with the results so far in Lulu.

Would I Recommend This to Friends and Family?

Emphatically yes!!! I have been telling anyone and everyone I know about this book. I feel so much that it has helped to bring a regularity and reliability to our family rhythm. I feel blessed that I happened to randomly pull this book off the shelf at Barnes & Noble when I went to get the “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Children” book. It literally has changed my life (& my husband and child’s).

What Makes This Such a Great Book?

1. It is VERY easy to read when you’re so tired your face is tingling.
2. The tone is very evenhanded. You can read this book, decide the method is not for you, and feel okay with that (as opposed to many of the other sleep training books out there that use a very condemning “my way or the highway” tone)
3. The tone is also very supportive. The authors understand that you’re tired, afraid of making a mistake, needing help and support with your decision.
4. It WORKS, well and quickly. My daughter’s life is MUCH better for having had this training.
5. The authors of the Sleepeasy Solution have considered almost every situation, ad hoc question and doubt that you can concieve of, all of which are addressed, so, if and when you start to doubt or wonder what to do, the book very clearly outlines your next move.

What Is The Method? How Does It Work?

I really believe that you need to read the book to understand what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I will not begin to try to outline the methods (except where I already have mentioned some aspects in my chronicles) at the risk that they be misinterpretted applied incorrectly. I will say that this is a modified version of a cry it out method. As the authors put it, this is the “least cry”method.

Also, the authors state that a baby should be at least four months and fourteen pounds and in good health before starting this sleep training. If your baby is lighter than this or younger than this, perhaps you can benefit from the “Happiest Baby On the Block” methods of soothing (we got the DVD and fast forwarded through it to the pertinent parts at 2 AM the second night Lulu was home!).

Get the book and read it.

Special Note for Exhausted Parents:

If you are a tired parent reading this at 2 AM, desperately looking for answers… hang in there. Tomorrow, during business hours, go to your local Barnes & Noble (I know they carry it), or call around to find one in stock at another bookstore, and get a copy. I PROMISE you that if you buy the book tomorrow and take 30 minutes to begin getting some of the concepts, you WILL be able to start tomorrow night and two days from now, you will see light!!! Just make it through one more night and then you can begin moving toward a solution and a good night’s rest. In the meantime, if you’re looking for an empathetic read, cruise through my chronicles. Good luck!!!

Sleep Training & Teething:

Now, the major caveat. Immediately after we concluded the sleep training, my daughter began teething. In the course of a week, her first two teeth emerged. This derailed the success of the sleep training particularly . In the past week or so, I have regressed to taking her from her crib when she wakes and cries. I believe this was a necessary step in comforting her while she was in teething pain. This was also discussed in the Sleepeasy Solution book. The teething (round one) has passed, but we have a trip scheduled… There’s just not enough time to restore the great schedule we were on. When we return from our trip, we will re-start the sleep training, and I’ll probably write about it some more here!

Do I Have an Affiliation With the Book or Authors?

Nope. I’m just a new mom who, herself, has trouble sleeping. So I write a lot. And worry. And exalt in the successes and belabour the “failures” of my parenting along the way.

I hope some of my experiences and writing can be of help to you!

Milk Bleb Intro

Now that Lulu is 6 months old, I feel like I’m old hat at breastfeeding and, considering the number of issues I have had to deal with along the way, I have nifty insight on some of the things that can come up.

To date, I’ve dealt with (in order of appearance!): severe engorgement, thrush / yeast infection, poor latch resulting in using nipple shield, mastitis, reynaud’s / vasospasms, milk bleb / milk blister / blocked nipple pore. While each of these events has been painful, the milk bleb is the only one that made me consider abandoning breastfeeding.

Who’s In Charge of Your Body?

I LOVE this idea. My sister-in-law and her friends have started teaching their children about their physical autonomy at a very young age, and I think it’s wonderful.

Shortly after my eldest niece, Marta, started to speak in full sentences, my sister-in-law made up a “game” with her. She’d ask her in a big, silly voice, “Marta, who’s in charge of your body?” and Marta would screech in giggles, “ME!!!!! I AM IN CHARGE OF MY BODY!!!!!!” Sometimes the ask and refrain change a little to “Who’s the Boss of your body?” and it never fails to crack Marta up, even now when she’s approaching four.

This is a fantastic, positive, esteem-building approach that is a great pre-cursor to the “don’t take candy from strangers” talk we all unfortunately have to have at one point of other with our little ones. I love the idea of instilling a pride and sense of “ownership” about a child’s body, an empowerment model, if you will, prior to exposing them to the understanding that not all people in the world are nice and worthy of trust.

Moms Are Great Role Models

Okay, that’s not exactly a mindblowingly revolutionary observation, but it had to be said. In order for me to help my daughter have a great self-image, I have to model that behaviour myself. My own self image is pretty poor these days, as I’m coming to terms with my new “mom” body.

As my baby gets older and more open to the influences of those around her, I’d better be in a place of acceptance about my body! Part of this path is treating my body well with good nutrition and exercise. I can’t wait until Lulu is a little older so I can put her in a jogging stroller. Right now, she and I go on long walks together either in the regular stroller or with the Ergo carrier. I can’t even begin to imaging the benefits of modelling daily, healthy exercise for my daughter.

Taking good care of myself is probably one of the best gifts I can give my daughter for a myriad of reasons. Normally, the benefits of “taking care of the mom” that are listed in articles are that she is better able to be present with her child, she’s in better health, more emotionally sound, etc, but it also is beneficial as modelled behaviour!

Raising Girls

Raising girls is extremely risky business these days. Maybe it’s always been so, and now there’s just a greater awareness of the dangers. I tend to think that as media creeps into further depths of our lives via the Internet, television, cell phones, advertisements in public spaces, etc, it becomes more and more difficult to keep children, well, children.

This is particularly difficult with girls, where there is such extreme amount of media pressure that places value on the superficial qualities of being female.

In addition to the nigh-constant onslaught of images pressuring girls to be thin, to dress a certain way, to value their outsides more than their insides, there’s this nauseating sexualization of younger and younger girls, as the lovely influence of Bratz.

As Lulu grows, I want to be able to help her have a positive self image, to value her character more than her exterior, to be a trend bucker rather than chaser. I don’t want my Ophelia to drown in the river of toxic media messages.

In honor of that, I’m adding a category for “raising girls” where I’m going to stuff all the ideas and cool things I come across that can help to engender esteem along the way to adulthood.

The Perfect Post-partum Food: Quiche!

Quiche saved my butt when Lulu and I first got home from the hospital. Actually, it probably helped to widen it, but…

I discovered that quiche is the perfect food to have around when the milk production starts. I had no idea how voraciously starving I was going to be during the first few days. Every time I fed Lulu, I was famished afterwards. I ate a lot of almonds and apricots, a great means of protein and energy, but the real, quick go-to food to grab at 3:45 AM was some quiche that my mom had bought at a local grocery and put in the fridge. With the eggs and cheese, it made for an excellent source of protein and fats.

What made the quiche particularly great is that it’s easy to cut and plate a piece, pop it in the microwave and then scarf down, all with one hand (the other arm obviously being occupied holding a newborn!).